Welcome to The Epic! I am launching this blog as a manifesto for and a guide to living well. The title and motto of the blog are taken from the Epicureans, at least some of whom believed in the notion that not one minute of the future was guaranteed to them and that as a result they had the duty to live life to its fullest every moment.

I believe in discovering fun and pleasurable things wherever I find myself each day and I am told I have a knack for unearthing them. My hope is that by sharing in my pleasures and some of my ways of finding them you will begin to collect all the riches that lie in the moments of your life. They are there. Take them! All our lives should be.....Epic.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Dad's Birthday

The original piece that I could not publish after I wrote it on July 9:

This is my favorite photo of my Dad. Circa 1955. In front of the Tivoli Hotel, Panama. Four years before we met. To this day, my vision of a man in full.

My Dad was never much of a fan of the Chairman of the Board, but when my son (then 6) saw this picture during a family visit I asked him if he knew who it was. Without hesitation he replied "Sure. That's Frank Sinatra". My Dad, overhearing, just grinned and walked away.

It has been six years now. He would have been 84 today. The martinis I drank in his memory did not help a whole lot. On July 9, they never do.

Why I am publishing it now:

I have two good friends that lost their fathers recently. It happens to almost everyone. But somehow, that knowledge is of little use. How does one cope with losing a parent? Or any loved one? I was staring at my bookcase thinking about this topic when my eye fell on a little volume titled "Some Fruits of Solitude". Written by a fellow named William Penn. While he was imprisoned. For the crime of having a faith different from that of the people who owned the jails.

A gift I found six years ago were Penn's lines...

They that love beyond the world cannot be seperated by it.
Death cannot kill, what never dies.
Nor can Spirits ever be divided that love and live in the same Divine Principle; the Root and Record of their Friendship.
If absence be not Death, neither is theirs.
Death is but Crossing the World, as Friends do the Seas;
They live in one another still.

For they must needs be present that love and live in that which is Omnipresent.

In this Divine Glass, they see Face to Face;
and their Converse is Free, as well as Pure.

That is the Comfort of Friends,
that though they may be said to Die, yet their Friendship and Society are,
in the best Sense, ever present,
because Immortal.

I know. A bit more thick than my usual stuff. But the words helped me then. And help me still. My hope is that you will find comfort in them too.


The Daily Connoisseur said...

Beautiful poem- and I love that picture of your Dad... I am a daddy's girl- so close to my Dad. I can't even imagine what it would be like to lose him. I'm really sorry for your loss. It seems like you have turned into an exceptional human being though so I am sure you Dad can take comfort in that :)

On a side note- it's funny that picture of your Dad is in Panama. That is where my dad met my mom!

~Tessa~Scoffs said...

Pierpont lost his dad in October of '07. As he was the eldest son it fell to him to handle the funeral details. Everyone else had the luxury of "falling apart." It wasn't until last March, when he injured his back and was bed-ridden, that he allowed the black dog of grief to visit.

M.Lane said...

DC, thank you very much. This is so wild...my parents met in Panama also and were married there!

Mrs. Scoffs, well the dog has to come and he has to go. And he looks different to every single person.

Thanks ladies for the visits and comments..


The Daily Connoisseur said...

That is crazy! My parents married in Panama too- after only knowing each other for six months. (Still married 33 years later). What a coincidence- no wonder we have so much in common! ;)

CashmereLibrarian said...

Love. I still have my dad but he is eighty-six and not in good health. We don't have much in common; he's a simple man and I think is often confused by my complicated perspectives on life. But he gave me the best gift: unconditional love and support from day one.

M.Lane said...

DC I am amazed by that coincidence.

Cashmere, my take on it is one I learned from being a parent. I don't want us to be the same person. I just want to see him every so often when he's grown. Your Dad feels the same way, whether you have big discussions or not. And he has a daughter with the best name in blogdom!!


The Blushing Hostess said...

Beautifully done. I spent some time in Panama, I am glad for all these reminders. Well done.

M.Lane said...

BH, thanks so much!


Turling said...

Very touching. Thanks.

BB3 said...

MLane, thanks so much for that. My dad is 83 and despite some pretty severe health problems(even the heart of a lion weakens with age), is not only still with me but, 12 days hence will stand with me as my best man when I finally get married at 51. Your post helped remind me again what a special gift that will be. Bless you and your memories of your dad.


M.Lane said...

Turling, thanks for the visit and comment!

BB3, thank you also, that's what I was shooting for and your comment means a lot to me. AND, CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR UPCOMING WEDDING!! Romance lives!!


ADG said...

Superb post. So glad that I read this. My father died when I was 16. I didn't miss him till I was in my early thirties. My stepfather was married to my mom for 28 years. He died about a year and half ago. I've been blessed with two dads. More actually...now that I think about.


Easy and Elegant Life said...

It's never easy. Took me years to figure out what was going on with me on the anniversary of my father's death. I am wary around the martini glass on 3 June...

Mrs. E.'s parents lived in the Canal Zone. I was stationed there with my folks when she was born. They lived not a mile from us, although we never met!

M.Lane said...

ADG, I am so glad the post meant that to you. I was really struggling with not posting it at all.

Easy, I know what you mean re the martini glass. But....

That is so wild about the PCZ. Look at the other comments for another PCZ connection!

Thanks, both of you.


Petunia said...

What a fabulous photo of your father and a touching post! Did you get your love of travel from him?

M.Lane said...

Petunia, thank you. He was traveling during the summer months every year and sometimes he would take me along. Not to Panama. I think it did inspire me to travel. Along with living in a town of 300 people located deep in the woods...