Many people have a Bad Liquor Experience. Of that subcategory of humanity, a surprising number have a story that centers on tequila. A very nice lady of my acquaintance had such a horrid experience with tequila that she will not mention either the experience OR the word "tequila". Ever.
Fortunately, I have no BLE. Well. One. After one longish weekend in New Orleans some years ago which featured a VERY long evening at Pat O'Briens, I will never have another Hurricane again. I will never even have red Hawaiian Punch again. Not ever. If there is ever the need to torture me to get important information, you can put away the needles, water boards and dental tools. Just waft a paper cup of red H.P. under my nose and I WILL TELL ALL I KNOW. You get the idea. But I digress. I am thankful that I have no such experience or story involving tequila.
I love tequila. This love may be due in large part to the fact that I began drinking it late in life, thus avoiding the seemingly common trap of consuming a gallon or so of "tequila" with a name like "Pit Bull Agave" purchased at a waterfront drive-through liquor window. I love Jose Cuervo. I love 1800. I love Cabo Wabo. I have not had any others and I really see no need to try them. But I would. Tequila makes you a little more dusty and tough than you were before. Like a character in Robert Rodriguez' Once Upon A Time in Mexico...
You have to drink tequila in the proper sort of place. For example, there is an old painted-cement-block joint called Tony's in Panama City, Florida that has great steaks and classic Mexican food. Served in a suitably dim series of little rooms connected to a great bar. If suitably provoked by some tedious business detail or monstrous courtroom defeat, one can sit in the semi-darkness at Tony's and restore yourself with outstanding carne asada. Accompanied by Cuervo doubles. At ten in the morning. Or so I hear. Nothing like it to redirect the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune and turn them to an outbound course. If you need a jump start in the right direction, consider the classic anthem by The Ventures...
Today is National Tequila Day. What a day! Dedicated solely to tequila! Just the day to sit in a dark corner at Tony's with a small rocks glass in your hand containing amber liquid distilled from a cactus. Liquid that becomes a mystical elixir. After two or three. Then, as the shadows lengthen, a one-handed man who drove into town from Nevada in a 1976 white Cadillac Eldorado convertible will walk in. With a mysterious message just for you.
Such is the power and majesty of tequila. And of National Tequila Day. It is highly stimulative of the imagination and transforms every man and woman into a person of intrigue...as long as you do NOT let it provide you a Bad Liquor Experience. For that, I take no responsibility.
Addendum: I just learned that tomorrow is National SCOTCH day!! Will I recover from tequila day in time???