Many people have a Bad Liquor Experience. Of that subcategory of humanity, a surprising number have a story that centers on tequila. A very nice lady of my acquaintance had such a horrid experience with tequila that she will not mention either the experience OR the word "tequila". Ever.Fortunately, I have no BLE. Well. One. After one longish weekend in New Orleans some years ago which featured a VERY long evening at Pat O'Briens, I will never have another Hurricane again. I will never even have red Hawaiian Punch again. Not ever. If there is ever the need to torture me to get important information, you can put away the needles, water boards and dental tools. Just waft a paper cup of red H.P. under my nose and I WILL TELL ALL I KNOW. You get the idea. But I digress. I am thankful that I have no such experience or story involving tequila.
I love tequila. This love may be due in large part to the fact that I began drinking it late in life, thus avoiding the seemingly common trap of consuming a gallon or so of "tequila" with a name like "Pit Bull Agave" purchased at a waterfront drive-through liquor window. I love Jose Cuervo. I love 1800. I love Cabo Wabo. I have not had any others and I really see no need to try them. But I would. Tequila makes you a little more dusty and tough than you were before. Like a character in Robert Rodriguez' Once Upon A Time in Mexico...
You have to drink tequila in the proper sort of place. For example, there is an old painted-cement-block joint called Tony's in Panama City, Florida that has great steaks and classic Mexican food. Served in a suitably dim series of little rooms connected to a great bar. If suitably provoked by some tedious business detail or monstrous courtroom defeat, one can sit in the semi-darkness at Tony's and restore yourself with outstanding carne asada. Accompanied by Cuervo doubles. At ten in the morning. Or so I hear. Nothing like it to redirect the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune and turn them to an outbound course. If you need a jump start in the right direction, consider the classic anthem by The Ventures...
Today is National Tequila Day. What a day! Dedicated solely to tequila! Just the day to sit in a dark corner at Tony's with a small rocks glass in your hand containing amber liquid distilled from a cactus. Liquid that becomes a mystical elixir. After two or three. Then, as the shadows lengthen, a one-handed man who drove into town from Nevada in a 1976 white Cadillac Eldorado convertible will walk in. With a mysterious message just for you.
Such is the power and majesty of tequila. And of National Tequila Day. It is highly stimulative of the imagination and transforms every man and woman into a person of intrigue...as long as you do NOT let it provide you a Bad Liquor Experience. For that, I take no responsibility.
Addendum: I just learned that tomorrow is National SCOTCH day!! Will I recover from tequila day in time???
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12 comments:
Very nice post. You must have a very interesting calendar on your wall!
CABO WABO???? Are you kidding? Yikes! I can not imagine that it is any good.
My bete noir is tequila. Couldn't even smell it for years.
I am totally with you on the hurricanes. GACK! They just gag me.
Happy Tequila Day! My favorite drink is a margarita, so I obviously have no problem with tequila!!
Jaegermeister on the other hand makes me....ugh...well, it makes me remember a very bad couple of days back at Loyola.
The Pat O's Hurricane is a SERIOUS drink! It looks innocent enough, but you really shouldn't have more than one! Too funny that you can't even look at Hawaiian Punch now!
The Most Interesting Man in the World has been heard to say, "I don't always drink tequila, but when I do, I have it with ceviche and chips". Stay thirsty my friend.
Sorrentolens, I have lots of cool personal accessories...
PD, I'm no Tequila expert, but I have a bottle of CW in my bar now and I like it a lot. Certainly, Mr. Haggar SHOULD know plenty about it, he has probably consumed enough...
Petunia, HAHA. I can only imagine how awful a hot New Orleans night at Loyola saturated with Jager would be.
Ben, I promise, I will. The MIMITW is my ad campaign of the year!! I love it.
Thanks all for your visits and comments!
ML
Love the stuff. Make mine a double on the rocks with a half a lemon to squeeze into it.
Hurricanes...*shudder.* Been there, done that, got the reaction. Might be the grenadine, my only "food" allergy, discovered after a tall... Tequila Sunrise.
Well, talk about a day later and a dollar short! I missed "tequila" AND "scotch" day/s! :( But any day could suffice frankly.
I love tequila and feel most fortunate, as well, M. Lane, to have avoided any "experience" with this beauty.
Now sushi and sake? That's another story. (One I have fortunately moved past.)
Oh...and full confession...I find myself enjoying the "hurricane" from time to time. Don't worry my top stays down. Not much of one for beads. ;)
Easy, they don't serve Tequila in Richmond, do they?
Mon Oncle, I'll tell you just you WRITING about drinking Hurricanes is making me queazy. Glad to hear about the top though! I'll bet a sake overserve would be BRUTAL.
ML
Are you kidding me? Brutal? It lasted for almost 15 years that I couldn't even smell the stuff. Just ask the staff at "I love Sushi"... almost threw up in the entry just from smelling sake. Oy veh! I know... I'm classy like that.
Beats me Mr. Lane. Haven't really been to a bar in years. Other than the one in the next room. If I'm out and about I stick to a martini. If the joint looks too dubious, bourbon, neat.
Mon Oncle, that unfortunatly is the epitome of the Bad Liquor Story!!
Easy, sounds like a fine and sensible plan to me.
ML
Okay, M., this will be my last commentary. But...
"[T]he epitome of the Bad Liquor Story"? Maybe. But sampling the cocktail list (MULTIPLE times!) on British Airways during a certain First Class flight from London to San Francisco might be a stronger contender in some respects. I may well have cleared that 747 of all its air sick bags. Just sayin'. Bet the guy sitting next to me still flies in Coach to this very day.
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