Welcome to The Epic! I am launching this blog as a manifesto for and a guide to living well. The title and motto of the blog are taken from the Epicureans, at least some of whom believed in the notion that not one minute of the future was guaranteed to them and that as a result they had the duty to live life to its fullest every moment.

I believe in discovering fun and pleasurable things wherever I find myself each day and I am told I have a knack for unearthing them. My hope is that by sharing in my pleasures and some of my ways of finding them you will begin to collect all the riches that lie in the moments of your life. They are there. Take them! All our lives should be.....Epic.

Monday, January 2, 2012

10 Foods To Eat Before A Man Dies: Another Men's Health List

I love Men's Health Magazine.  I really do.  One of the reasons is the unending entertainment I get from their email updates.  A recent one included the ten things I have to eat before I die.  Let us review...

1. Steak Tartare.
     I agree.  I have had it.  I loved it.  Of course, it was at "21" so how bad could it be?

2. A Lobster You Kill Yourself.
     Really?  Not happening.  I admit it.  I used to hunt but now I am just a hypocrite.  I have no problem consuming any quantity of game that is killed by others but I am just not looking it in the eye and doing it myself.  In my kitchen.  Particularly with the well-documented sound track associated with this event.  I was at someone's home one time when they did this and it was horrid.  Were it not for the copious quantity of very good Champagne involved it would have put me off my feed.

3. A Homegrown Tomato.
     Check.  Marvelous. Especially when not grown at YOUR home.  That effort involves dirt.  Fertilizers.  Bugs. Bugs that eat tomatos.  Praying for rain.  Etc.

4.  An In-N-Out Hamburger.
     What?  Never heard of it.  Apparently some kind of chain joint.  I like to make hamburgers myself.  After someone else does the dirtywork.  If I want to put a chain joint burger on my bucket list I'll just go have a Whataburger.

5.  Handmade Pasta.
     Check.  Really good.  I'll bet it is really, really good if Giada Delorentiis makes it for me.  I know, I'll put "pasta made by Giada Delorentiis' hands" on my bucket list.

6.  Escargot.
     I am reserving judgment on this.  The only snails I have ever seen are of the Southern [U.S.] Appalachian variety.  Which look realllllllly slippery to me.  And slimy.  But, I am headed to Paris soon [have I mentioned that?].  And as a classic Burgundian dish, I am going to give it a try.

7.  Bone Marrow.
     See 5, above.  I will try it when I see it on a Parisian menu.  I will say, marrow bones have a long-documeted history of excellence.

8.  Kumamoto Oysters.
     They may be good.  Even great.  But when the MH writer says "nothing like the bland, flabby Gulf Coast oysters you are used to..." I shut it down.  The MH writer can you know what to my flabby, bland Gulf Coast you know what.

9.  Wedge Of Iceberg Lettuce With "Blue" Cheese Dressing.
     Check.  Excellent.  Really so when Giada crumbles bacon strips over it and........
Seriously, if you want to go Old School with this, try Green Goddess.  Then the hand crumbled bacon.  Dream-like.

10.  Natto.
     The MH list for this fermented bean item contains the following words:

     "until they take on a froth"

     "mucosal-like strings"

     "gross, yes"

     "heady aftertaste"

Anthony Bourdain described eating Natto as akin to "eating out of the spit cup at the dentist".

No way I am eating this.  Ever.  It should be on the next MH list.  The list of "Ten Things To Eat To Make You Die".  Where do they get these writers, anyhow?

Leaving the MH list, I submit for your approval The Epic list of things you "must" eat before you die...

1.  A Chicago hot dog from Poochie's in Skokie.

2.  Tournados Rossini.

3.  Fresh Rainbow Trout cooked streamside by your dad with a lot of butter.

4.  Anything at Le Veau D'Or in New York.

5.  Lobster poached in butter from Cafe 30A in Santa Rosa Beach, Florida.  With good Champagne or their excellent white Bordeaux.

8.  Expensive caviar.  With good Champagne.

9.  A pulled duck sandwich from One Flew South in the Atlanta airport.

10.  As the late, great Chef Justin Wilson would say......anything you dang well want, you!!

Here's to a gastronomic 2012 that perfectly suits each of us!  No matter what the list makers say.


Suburban Princess said...

Most of these sound like something someone eats on a dare.

M.Lane said...

Princess, I AGREE! How funny.


Big D said...

I'm a pretty good grillmaster and burgers are one of my specialities, but I must admit the In and Out burger is good. Only out west, but now as close as Dallas.

It's waay past time for us to enjoy a Vesper (or two!)

Take care and Happy New Year!

Turling said...

I'll be hitting up In-n-Out for lunch today. While delicious, I'm not sure why they have obtained this God-like stature. I've had plenty of burgers as good and better. Anyway, as with most lists by magazines, I'm sure the MH one started as follows:

Editor: "I need a list of something to go opposite the Abercrombie and Fitch ad. Be sure no one will be distracted from the ad, so it had better not be good. Smith!"

Smith: "Yea, Chief?"

Editor: "Make me one of your crappy lists. You got 10 minutes!"

Smith: "Sure thing, Chief."

M.Lane said...

Big D, I have respect for your tastes. And you are very correct about the Vespers.

Turling that is so hilarious! And probably right on.


William Widmaier said...

Enjoy the escargot (fantastic when well prepared) and bone marrow while you're in Paris.
Recommendation: Bone marrow, while it can be quite delicious and is considered health food by many, can become too-much-of-a-good-thing very quickly. Eat as an appetizer and eat sparingly. 2 to 4 bites on a toasted baguette crisp with some garnish will provide some gastronomic excitement. Stop there and you will have pleasant memories. Eat too much and that can change. Trust me on this.

M.Lane said...

William, I do. Implicitly. I will take your advice and report later....in late April.

Thanks my friend.


Zingiber said...

Kumamotos are outrageous. Easily my favorite oyster. Small, tender, and flavorful.

M.Lane said...

Sartre, I trust your opinion on this. I'll try them.


tintin said...

If you have the time, check out Vin Sur Vin in Paris. Very small and one seating a night. No rush. You can be there for hours. Incredible. Husband and Wife run and a wine list that is amazing. Jacket and tie.

M.Lane said...

Tintin, I will certainly go. Your recommendations are A1 mon frere.


Milady said...

Melanie here! I enjoyed this piece, please email me--I have a question about your blog. MelanieLBowen[at]gmail[dot]com